Thursday, November 29, 2012

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 29

...just a minute, let me finish my mojito and we’ll get back to the story...
Episode 29 – November 28 – We are now in to week number five.
I woke up at 5 AM thanks to another screaming patient left in the hallway so I did my first set of upper body exercises. I laid back down and quickly drifted off until 7.
My nurse for today is Judith who hails from Ghana. Let’s see if I can scare off this one as well. I’m such a demanding and miserable patient.
Next timeyou injure yourself and your doctor is checking you over watch their facial expressions. “Does this hurt? How about when I press here?” After you scream like a banshee when they hit the spot; I can guarantee they have an evil smirk on their face.
This one of my two or three egg days are breakfast and it was another hard cooked one. At least I suspect it was an egg but I’m sure it I saw dimples and Titleist 7 stamped on it.
Dr. Haaf came in again and told me that Dr. McConkey had overruled him and switched the range of motion change back to December 1 from this Thursday which in effect the change won’t take place until next Monday. The surgeon’s concern was how my weight would put added pressure on my quads. Hey didn’t he read the chart. I lost 45 kilos last week. It would appear my release date is going to around December 21. Great just in time for the End of the World.
The good thing is today was Rubber Ducky day. Angie went upstairs to get the stretcher and then she and Judith prepped the sling under and handed me the control. It was Peter Pan time as flew in the air onto my chariot (stretcher). I can fly. The staff on the seventh floor must have been wondering what kind of drugs they are handing out on the sixth floor because I had this stupid grin on my face heading for the shower room and a huger one on my way back. Again, I feel so pretty.
Just as I was settled back in bed a code red was broadcast at least this time it wasn’t someone burning toast in Evergreen. It was a short circuit in one of the detectors in the construction zone downstairs.
A doctor came to see the woman across from me and I thought maybe he was wearing a Halloween costume because he was actually dressed up as a doctor with the white coat, stethoscope and the band around his head with the reflector. I so used to the surgeon coming in wearing scrubs or dressed like he’s heading out to the woods and I’ve never seen Dana dressed any more formal than a sweater and jeans even in his office.
Martin from the PNE dropped by on his way to work and we chatted for about fifteen minutes. When he asked about who else had been to see me from work, I told him and them told him I don’t begrudge anyone for not visiting because I know we all have busy schedules and no one likes going to hospitals. I accept this especially I’m really bad for avoiding hospital visits and more so appreciate anyone who drops by.
Jane from VCC was almost as excited about changing my dressing as Angela was last week. Jane only got to watch yesterday so when I told her that my dressing would likely have to be changed because of my shower today. She immediately rushed off to find Judith and then returned and Jane was happy as a clam to dress my blisters. Me, I get queasy just changing a bandaid.
I’m beginning to believe I really am the teaching dummy. When it came time for my physio, Jenny a student from Capilano University was instructed how to adjust my braces and do the passive motion on my knees.
Phase three of the student invasion came when Jane was allowed to check my glucose level and I scored a 5.7 which is great for an afternoon reading. After she completed the test she thanked me for letting her do it and then I thanked her back. I had just thanked someone for poking me with a sharp object and making bleed. Everyone is right. We Canadians are way too polite!
My noise block out music for the evening was provided by Melissa Etheridge and Rachel Maddow poisoned my little mind like she does every night. Hey did you that both these women are...umm...well you know..
Layla was my night nurse and I just love her! She’s cheerful and friendly without being too perky. I bet she is a hoot at parties!
Now it’s time to curl up with the Green River Killer and let that little blue pill do its magic.
To be continued...

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